Most families have a few words that are unique to their own small group. Over the
years we have collected many words
that "improve" on the original English. These
have come from foreigners struggling to master our language, from small
children who
make charming mistakes and from the pig ignorant who ought to know better but still
get it wrong in
amusing ways.
Other influences include Ronnie Barker's "loyal society for relief of sufferers from the the pismronunciation of worms" and
'Allo 'Allo! for its rendering of several European languages. Travelling the world, one picks up foreign words that are much
more fun than their English equivalent. "Sod-off-ka voda" is a nice example. This is Czech for fizzy water.
| affen | Tourists (from Affenparade – honeypot) |
| arsema | a sore backside, can also refer to flatulence |
| barcon | bacon |
| basuras | Spanish for rubbish |
| billy tracks | Narrow paths made by animals or sometimes walkers |
| bix | box |
| bolleau | an expletive |
| bouncers | soft cushions |
| brød | Bread as pronounced by Anne's Maltese landlady |
| brusolosis | Bruised soles of feet |
| bruk | Broken |
| buck buck baa | Chicken sometimes shortened to buck buck |
| bugger | JCB, road digger or marine dredger (this is a Dutch word) |
| carvar | Coffee from Neil’s mispronunciation of Kava in Czech |
| chattock | castle - see gattocks |
| compost | compos (those without the benefit of a classical education make this mistake) |
| dick | dark |
| dicktheria | see toesolitis |
| Differo | MP3 player on which I record interesting points. |
| ferret shop | ferreteria (Iron mongers and DIY shop) |
| froozer | freezer |
| gattocks | cake - see bolleau |
| glassade | similar to a glissade but one slides on ones rear end |
| hairyhole | Aerial |
| happles | as in haycorns (Winnie the Pooh) |
| hearse | horse (as said by Katie 5) |
| helly | Helly Hansen (used for any make of fleece) |
| helly hansen | Mayonaise (also the full name for a fleece) |
| hum | Home (pronounced to rhyme with room) Norfolk dialect |
| Invat | Entrance or slip road from Slakan (Rates of Exchange) |
| kossack | kiosk (from a character in the James Herriot vet stories) |
| lixo | lee-shoo, Portuguese for rubbish |
| make a small shopping | Quotation from Rates of Exchange by Malcolm Bradbury |
| Maakelik | Do-able from a Dutch walking guide we bought in Benidorm |
| Mini | Family name for mother |
| mip | map |
| mustang | Back pack |
| narnula | Banana - narna - narnula. In Tenerife, banana plantations are nearly always dead ends. You can get in, but high terraced walls prevent escape. So a narnula is a dead end. |
| ninja | tunnel under a motorway (where ninja turtles live) |
| øg | egg as pronounced by Anne's landlady |
| one to me | A game taught by Val where points are scored if you see a cat or a frog. We had already played "look at that pussy. It’s the nicest one I’ve ever seen" so we were ripe for conversion. We don’t count the points. |
| parper | paper |
| piles | Battery from pila Spanish pile French |
| pivo | beer (Czech language) |
| pneemoania | (kneemonia) damaged knees that cause endless complaining |
| ponce | pants (the policeman in 'Allo 'Allo!) |
| poopers | Sweet or chili peppers |
| porker | pork or portion |
| pozor vlak | You score a point for saying this first when you see a train or railway. It means "beware trains" in Czech. |
| prerked | tired or broken |
| pronomontory | promontory (from a holiday rep' in Sagres Portugal) |
| pummock | Hill |
| pussypillar | caterpillar |
| rejuveated | rejuvenated (coined by a holiday rep' from Essex) |
| salman | Salmon |
| scheem | machine (baby language - we never grew up) |
| seeskweem | Ice-cream (baby talk) |
| shingles | usually a short lived complaint caused by the shin muscles cramping or stiffening up |
| sissages | I am walking very carefully because I have sissages in my ponce. (the policeman in 'Allo 'Allo!) |
| slicks | slices (from children's mis-spellings) |
| sluck | sluice |
| snug | bed |
| spedunculas | particulars (no idea how this one evolved) |
| stark | steak |
| station | alsation (dog) |
| stimp | stamp (the policeman in 'Allo 'Allo!) |
| stinken pinken | Barbie doll pink |
| stools | toadstools |
| stun | stone |
| squaw | square - the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides (Pythagoras) |
| swimming dress | Boy's swim suit (as said by a Czech teacher much to the English boys ammusement) |
| Tellingphone | Telephone |
| tureen | ravine |
| Thyroid | Pain in thigh/s |
| toesolitis | injured toes |
| turbans | turbines |
| trizers | Trousers (posh pronunciation) rhymes with spizes as said by a school governor where Neil used to work. |
| tweeter | bird |
| woo | path or way - also a woo through is a route that has an exit |
| woo-woo scheems | Lego constructions placed in the front window of a caravan being towed. They swayed and eventually disintegrated. The winner's scheem lasted the longest. When the scheem was nearly destroyed, one would say Wooo! |
| Worms | Words (from the Ronnie Barker pismronunciation sketch) |